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Superman and Lois Lane

Date Occurred: October of 2000

Date Written: September 8, 2002

Written by: Joel T. Kant

Copyright (c) 2002

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In October of 2000, my wife Holly and I went to a costume party. Wearing a costume was optional. This was at the Cleveland Playhouse. This included a play about Eliot Ness. He was best known as the leader of the Untouchables in Chicago during Prohibition. As historical fact, after Prohibition had ended, Mr. Ness moved to Cleveland, Ohio. Here, a grisly series of murders occurred that came to be known as the torso murders. This name came because of the condition in which the bodies were discovered. These crimes were never solved, leaving a blot on Mr. Ness’s otherwise admirable record.

The highly fictionalized version of this play offered a solution to the murders. It was far too fictionalized and implausible to take seriously.

The play was a musical. Holly and I were highly amused by an actress who seemed to slowly fall from a tall building. She really wasn’t falling, but lying on her stomach while supported by a black pedestal that gradually lowered. As the actress descended in what was theoretically free fall in slow motion, she sang a sad song about soon becoming splatted against the pavement.

As for my costume, I had some years back bought a long-sleeved blue cotton sweatshirt with the Superman logo. I bought some red fabric. I stitched the edges with Holly’s sewing machine to prevent fraying. Safety pins held the red cape to the sweatshirt. I had some bright red jogging shorts. I sewed belt loops into those. I then took an old leather belt that I simply spray-painted bright yellow. I got some rubber boots and painted those red with some automotive paint designed for plastics. I found some blue jogging pants to complete the outfit.

Holly was not inclined to put together a costume. I said that she did not have to work hard at it. She could simply wear a dress to be Lois Lane. That served as a minimal costume that she did not mind. (See Fig. 1)

Figure 1: Superman and Lois Lane

[Photograph by Linda Simpson]

My handmade Superman costume really gave me superpowers, as you can see in the following photograph as I flew into the room. (See Fig. 2)

Figure 2: Superman flying

[Photograph by Holly Mayer]

I met Batman at the party. He told me where he had rented his costume. He asked where I had rented mine. He did not seem to believe me when I explained I had not rented it, but bought a sweatshirt with the registered trademark logo, then constructed the rest.

During the party after the play, there was a costume judging. One category was the costume that most looked like Eliot Ness. The actor playing the character pointed me out and said that I best fit the role, but the other actors had overruled him. The prize instead went to a man in a trenchcoat with a plastic gun.

The actor singling out me as Superman for the best portrayal of the Eliot Ness character fit very well the arrogant and conceited way the character had been written. Holly still thinks I should have won.

THE END

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